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Monthly Archives: November 2011

Dear Black Woman,

Dear Black Woman,

First and foremost, you are an Empress.  THE Empress.  You are the worker.  The giver of life.  The model that women around the world are trying to emulate, from their hair to their ass implants.

You have carried the burden for decades.  You have played the roles of mother, father, pastor, cheerleader, home-maker, business owner, corporate leader, and many other roles too numerous to name.  You’ve put kids through college.  Started 401Ks for grandchildren.  You’ve taken in nieces and nephews so they can have a fighting chance.  You are a motivator, a healer, the ultimate go getter.

But damn, black woman, what’s happening to you?

The once strong, independent woman has been replaced by a false sense of independence and whore tactics.  The woman who once embraced her broad nose, kinky hair, thick hips and thick lips is now making every effort to erase these beautiful traits.  The woman whose smile and sway made Thomas Jefferson cheat and Strom Thurman howl in his private office is now bitter, hateful, and full of excuses.

What happened to the woman who seized the day?  What happened to the woman who took all challenges and ran with them?  When did the strong woman who all wanted to imitate become the butt of the joke?  When did the black woman…the one who can have children of any color…the woman who has been called the cradle of life…..start her downward spiral?

Black woman, what happened to me? What happened to you? What happened to US?!?!

And how can we get back to what we used to be?





You know, I remember when the word “Hater” actually meant you were a…well…hater.

See, the first time I remember hearing the word “hater” was in 1999.  And back then, it was used to describe someone who talked bad about someone for no reason whatsoever.  Someone got a new pair of shoes? That person who slammed them for no reason was called a hater, and almost black-balled from most social circles.  No one wanted to be around a hater.  No one wanted to be seen with a hater, because being seen with a hater made you a hater by default.  Such was the good old days.

Oh, but now.

Nowadays, if you don’t care for a particular genre of music, or person, or if you don’t agree with someone’s opinion, you are labeled a hater.  Why? If I don’t like Tim Tebow’s style of playing football, that just means I don’t like his style of playing football.  I don’t like the content of Nicki Minaj’s songs, so I’m called a hater.  I always know I’ve won an argument because someone will yell out “You’re a hater” instead of trying to complete a thought and express why their opinion carries weight or is superior to mine.

Close to the end of the year, every year, the question comes up: What word or phrase should we stop saying?  My vote is for the word “Hater”.  You kids actually don’t know what it means.


I Don’t Know How To Feel

Du-rags. Really?

So like…I honestly don’t know how to feel about this.

On one hand, I don’t really drink Seagram’s too much anymore.  I was introduced to Tanqueray and New Amsterdam and haven’t really looked back since *LOL* Because I don’t buy the brand, they don’t have to worry about getting my money anyway.  Plus, this Rebel with a cause always feels that there are better things to be up in arms about.

But on the other hand….

The” militant, afro wearing, Angela Davis-Huey Newton philosophy spitting, fuck the white devil” side of me is pretty freaking angry.  Like, for real?  A du-rag? Are you serious?  How dare you bastards?  See, this side is the side of me that HATES those McDonald’s commercials that sing and rap at me.  The same side that hates when Black History Month comes because all of a sudden, these companies act like they give a fuck about the black experience and about our community as whole.  Yea. My “fuck whitey” side is pretty upset about this.

And while I don’t know how to feel, I truly did laugh it off when I saw it yesterday.  I got other things I want to combat, and this really ain’t one of them.

The Uncle Tom Paradox

So, a few weeks ago, a conversation was taking place on my Facebook page.  During the conversation, my nephew’s mother called Herman Cain an “Uncle Tom”.  Now, I follow a plethora of various people, and a white male friend of mine goes into a diatribe of why the term “Uncle Tom” was racist, and had no place in intelligent conversation.  Of course, a few other black people jump in and say “oh, you’re only calling him an Uncle Tom because he is successful”.  Now, my girl defended her stance well.  But the conversation got me thinking about what an Uncle Tom is, and why the term is still so provocative to say in 2011.

So, look, let’s take a look at the term, shall we?

You know that Uncle Tom comes from the character in the book by Harriet Beecher Stowe, right? Right.  Now, our dear friends at Wikipedia say:

Uncle Tom is a derogatory term for a person who perceives themselves to be of low status, and is excessively subservient to perceived authority figures; particularly a black person who behaves in a subservient manner to white people.

So, let’s go ahead and debunk that “we only call successful black people Uncle Toms” rumor right now, because most successful blacks I know are NOT subservient.  You wanna know someone I think is an Uncle Tom?

This.Right Here.Is an Uncle. TOM.

Yes. That fool.  And I don’t care when he said it, the sentiment is the same.  In 2008, while working on a project, Soulja Boy said something to the effect of “Thanks to all the slave masters for bringing black folks over here.  Without ya’ll, I wouldn’t have all this ice and all this money”.


See, how that works? Even if said IN JEST, he degraded himself, his race, and uplifted white people to a pedestal that I don’t even think they want.

When Herman Cain opened his mouth and “misspoke” (as the MSM likes to call it now) about his role and his thoughts about the Civil Rights movement, that was the nail in the coffin in his “Uncle Tom” status.  There were children who were hosed and bitten by dogs in the name of equality, and you decided “to sit it out”? Oh. Ok.

See, Herman Cain and those like him are Uncle Toms not because they have money or because they “live nice” (heavy eye roll).  They are Uncle Tom’s because they continuously DEGRADE their race and the racial struggles in order to UPLIFT another race so they can be accepted.

See how that works, white people?

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