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Monthly Archives: July 2011

I’m Addicted To You

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My niece Deja (now 15) looked at her roots and said “Kitti, do you remember how to perm hair?”  Now, of course I remember.  I did my own perms for years.  So, after a brief talk about the perm, we proceeded to do the thing.

This is the kicker though.

I’m standing there, gloves covered in white, slimy sodium choloride stuff, a comb in one hand, and I actually thought “I really miss this.” Let that statement sink in.  I, the Empress Regnant, missed getting perm.  I KNOW, RIGHT!!!! *laughs at self* Now, anyone who knows me knows that while I’m far from a “Natural Nazi,” I do advocate for it.  And I don’t know if it was the fumes from the perm, or the thought of being able to do what I want with my hair again, but I really stood there and considered going back to the perm when I came back to PB.  Maybe what the girl in “Good Hair” called it was true. “Creamy Crack” is powerful.  Something potent in every way.  Whether it’s the versatility that I thought I had, or straightness, or just the overall process, something is in that powerful little jar of cream.

I was snapped out of my potential relapse when I heard Deja utter the faithful words “Let’s take it off now before it burns, Kitti.”  Yea. That feeling is one feeling I don’t miss. I wondered if addicts in recovery ever think about the burns they got while free basing.  I thought of the burns I have gotten from the perms as I wash the crack down the drain.

“Am I addicted to you, creamy crack?” I wondered as I washed the remaining white globs out the combs.

That night in the shower I ran my fingers through my curl explosion and smiled.  Nah, I said. Not addicted at all.

But a chi iron purchase is on the agenda.


What Men Want

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Okay, so let’s get some clarity. What do ya’ll want?


Let’s quit playing this game that men know what they want and stick with that til the day they die.  Let’s get rid of that RIGHT NOW, because it’s not right.  I know guys who have changed “types” like they change Jordans, and I know players whose girls differ like night and day.  Remember Bill Bellamy’s character in How To Be A Player? Yea. So, now, back to the original question.

What do ya’ll want?

See, you say you want “a natural woman” *in my Aretha voice* but all I see is ya’ll going goo goo gaa gaa over video vixens with ass implants and fake breast.  You say you want a woman with a brain, but *most* truly intelligent females I know are single with no prospects (I’m reminded that my brother said “Smart girls are boring”)  You say you want class, but you are dating the local hoodrat with four kids and no desire to do anything with her life.  The main cats who say they don’t want a girl who nags gets mad when the girl doesn’t nag.  Men claim they  don’t wanna be “Captain Save  A Hoe” but when the “Independent Woman” craze began, suddenly, every man wanted a woman who just wanted to stay at home under him.  Every dude want Claire Huxtable, but nobody wants to be Cliff. Catch my drift?

So, men…especially the BROTHAS…let us know…AND STICK TO YOUR GUNS. What do you want????

This? Real women with real curves and real issues?

Or this? Fake. Lifeless. But nice to look at.

A Non MF’ing Factor?

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Some say, that in this day and age, race and racism is a “non mutherfuckin’ factor”.  We have a black president, black senators, blacks on the Forbes’ list, so racism is something of the past.  Even Will Smith, a respected black actor, said that in his world “racism doesn’t exist because he doesn’t acknowledge it.”


As much as I want people to join hands and sing “We Are the World” (the original. not the shitty remake.) I just know in my heart it won’t happen.  No, I’m not being cynical, mean or stupid.  I’m being a “realist”.  It’s not about stereotypes, the media or what we think we know.  It’s just that some people are hateful and full of excuses.  When you have a person full of excuses….well, we know how that saying goes.  They build monuments to nothingness.  Racism is a monument to nothingness that is continually added to with each passing day.

But you wanna know the deepest reason why racism will always exist? We don’t wanna have “THE CONVERSATION”.  Don’t know what the conversation is?  Let me put you up on game.  See, black folks don’t want to admit that we screwed ourselves when it comes to our communities (post-introduction to crack) White folks, ESPECIALLY rich white folks in government roles, don’t want to admit that they screwed every community they could to make a dollar or out of sheer jealous (pre-introduction to crack).  Hispanics, such as Mexicans, don’t want to admit that they DO come to America and get over to a degree.  The Chinese, Japanese, and other Asians  in the country don’t want to admit that they separate themselves from the rest of American culture to the point that no one WANTS to understand. Get my drift? No one wants to admit their faults and honestly, every community is satisfied with blaming the other.

So is race a non muthafuckin’ factor? Yep.  As long as we are divided, it’ll always be an issue.


Up From Slavery?

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So…the newest craze to hit the internet is “planking”. Planking is when you lay still, with you face down, arms close to the body and your legs closed.  The big joke is that you are suppose to do it where it’s not appropriate: business meetings, class, on the airplane (yes, some fool did it on the plane…LOL) things of that nature.  It got so big that a kid did it and died because he fell trying to twit pic it (Sad what lengths we will go to be accepted).  Well, today, I read this :  Apparently, #Planking, for some black people, is four steps from slavery, right behind wearing a watch and right below saying “yes ma’am” and “no ma’am”.

You know how I see it?

There are a lot of other things closer to slavery than this.  The desire for fast cars and an unholy amount of bling for one.  Our continuous desire to look a certain way (read: light skinned long hair) is another.  The book “40 Million Dollar Slave” is a detailed look into the world of sports and black men, which some have equated to a form of slavery.  We, as PEOPLE, are slaves to money, fame, power, sex, drugs, technology…should I continue?

I can’t really say I agree or disagree with the whole “planking is slavery thing”.  Well. Let me take that lie back. Yes, I can. I don’t agree.  This is a distraction.  It’s nonsense.  It’s whimsical.  And it takes eyes and time away from the important things we should be talking about.

Samantha v. Carrie

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So, I have a friend (follow her @Not_Spice_Tree….shameless plug) that has never really watched Sex And The City (yea, I know! Where has SHE been? LOL) And after watching a few episodes and parts of the movie, she texts me and says “Kit, I think I’m Samantha!”  I giggled. HARD. Mainly because I know her pretty well.  Not saying that she’s not a “GIRL POWER” type of chick, but Samantha she is not. “No babydoll, you’re closer to Charlotte or Miranda than anything.”  We debated the characters and their set up for a little bit longer, but the conversation tugged in my head a bit…mainly because I know a lot of women who are that way.

A lot of us think we are Samantha.

Smart. Stylish. Sexy. Even at an older age.

She’s stylish, sexy in her one way, a mover and shaker in her field (Public Relations) and doesn’t hold her tongue.  Samantha Jones is, deep down, who all women aspire to be: Confident, non conforming, someone doing it for herself, and not caring what others think (Who can forget her throwing herself a “Happily Single” party during the series? HA!) We all want to be this, and in bedrooms, when we are dressed in nothing but Vickie Secrets with a cocktail in our hand, we are.  But that’s the only place.

Honestly, most of us women are…you guessed it….Carrie Bradshaw.

The Eff I Look Like, Son?!?

Sexy in her own way? Yes. Loyal to her girls? Hell yea. Career on track? Yep. Stylish? Remarkably so! (Jimmy Choo, anyone? Manolo Blahnik?) But horribly confused about love.  Neurotic when it comes to romantic relationships.  Not brash when it comes to standing up for herself, but she will when it comes down to it.  She’s not nessecarily “sexual”, but she gets down with the get down (It was never disputed that she was terrible in bed. Every dude she messed with came back) She wants long-term. She wants to be happy. And she is slowly, but surely, doing it her way.  There’s nothing wrong with being Carrie, because even Carrie knows that Carrie is a bit insane.

Think I’m lying? Take a look at ya’ self. I promise you’ll see more Carrie than Samantha.

LBGT History

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Lowkey, I didn’t wanna do a blog about relationships today.  I didn’t.  At times, the conversation about Mars and Venus seems to get as far as a fat kid on a Huffy two-speed.  Men aren’t trying to be open and women aren’t trying to listen.  Both sides think they know it all. So, I was scouring the internet and my brain, searching for something to speak on, when I found it.;_ylt=A2KLPyYXqhROxToA3wCs0NUE;_ylu=X3oDMTM5dXVuYWdwBHBrZwM2N2QxNmVjYS1mM2NkLTNlM2YtODFiNS1iYmI3MDAxYWE1NjkEcG9zAzUEc2VjA01lZGlhVG9wU3RvcnkEdmVyA2M3MTczNDMwLWE3NmYtMTFlMC1iYWZmLWY5ODU0MzZjZWViNw–;_ylg=X3oDMTFpNzk0NjhtBGludGwDdXMEbGFuZwNlbi11cwRwc3RhaWQDBHBzdGNhdANob21lBHB0A3NlY3Rpb25z;_ylv=3

Sorry the link is so long and crappy, but it’ll take you to the story.  So, this is what it is, huh? California is ranked LOW AS HELL in education, and to pick up the slack, they choose to teach….LGBT history?  Ok, I understand that we should teach the history of the less represented people, but if you teach history CORRECTLY, you are already teaching LBGT history.  If you are teaching about the things Eleanor Roosevelt, Zora Neale Hurston, Harvey Milk, etc, have done, then you are already teaching “gay history”.  I mean, what’s the curriculum? Knowing what kind of fabric J. Edgar Hoover liked? Knowing if George Takei was happy with the outfit in Star Trek?

I’m being funny, but I’m totally serious at the same time.

Don’t get me wrong.  As a bisexual black female, I’m a fierce believer in equal civil rights for all.  Yes, I believe in gay marriage, gays adopting and I hate for people to be abused because of who they are.  But I’m also a believer in cut the crap.  This is a crap situation.  We can’t teach our children the two theories of how the world was created, but we can teach them that Barney Frank likes men and is an openly gay politician? How about we teach them what Barney Frank has DONE and let everything else fall into place?

Like my LS @ladysmiles3 said (shameless plug…GO FOLLOW HER!) “You can’t force acceptance.  Teach the babies how to read, write, add and subtract.”  I agree sis. I agree wholeheartedly.


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